🔗 Share this article This Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year. As we consider the television landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote. And Just Like That How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob? All’s Fair ‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was almost the smallest of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist. The Supercomputer Drama Of course we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost. The Gangster Drama Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back. In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic. With Love, Meghan Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series. The Inheritance It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it. Too Much How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt icky. The Sketch Show Return Not good enough to be ‘uneven’. Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer. The Knox Dramatisation This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely. The Maths Genius Thriller We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers. The Bonnie Blue Documentary This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.